You've Got Mail - 09. The caviar is a garnish.

KATHLEEN - (very friendly) Oh, hello. 

JOE - Hi. 

KATHLEEN - Remember me, from the bookstore? 

JOE - Of course I remember you, yes, hi.

KATHLEEN - Hey, how's your aunt? 

JOE - She's great. (gets his drink) I'd better go to deliver this. I have a very thirsty date. She's part camel. 

Kathleen laughs. 

KATHLEEN - Joe, right? Joe, isn't it? 

JOE - And you're Kathleen. 

Joe vanishes into the party. 

MEN - Two white wine, please.

KATHLEEN - Kathleen Kelly.

INT. VINCE MANCINI'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - A MINUTE LATER 

VINCE - I can not believe that you were speaking to Joe Fox. 

KATHLEEN - Joe Fox? 

VINCE- JOE FOX.

KATHLEEN - As in....

She can't even finish the sentence. 

VINCE - As in, he's going to take over everything.

INT. VINCE MANCINI'S APARTMENT - A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATER 

Joe is standing at a table of food, his back to the room. 

KATHLEEN - Fox? Your last name is Fox? 

Joe spins around, looks at her. 

JOE - F-O-X. 

KATHLEEN - God, I didn't realize. I didn't know...

JOE -Who you were with? I didn't know who you were with.

KATHLEEN - Excuse me? 

JOE - It's from the Godfather. Sorry, it's from the Godfather. It's....when r..the movie producer realizes that Tom Hagen is the emissary of Vito Corleone...  (continued) 

Kathleen is staring at him. 

JOE (cont'd) - just before the horse's head ends up in his bed...with all the bloody sheets. You know, wake up and it's..ahh..ahhhh...never mind.

KATHLEEN - You were spying on me, weren't you? You probably rented those children. 

JOE - Why would I spy on you? 

KATHLEEN - Because I am your competition. Which you know perfectly well or you would not have put up that sign: "Just around the Corner." 

JOE - The entrance to our store is around the corner. There's no other way to say it. It's not the name of our store, it's where it is. And you do not own the phrase "around the corner." 

KATHLEEN - What is that? What are you doing? What is that? What are you doing? You're taking all the caviar? That caviar is a garnish.

JOE - Look, the reason I came into your store is because I was spending the day with Annabel and Matt. I was buying them presents. I'm the type of guy who buys his way into the hearts of children who are his relatives. There was only one place to find a children's books in the neighborhood. That will not always be the case. And it was yours, and it is a charming little bookstore. You probably sell what, $350,000 worth of book in a year?

KATHLEEN - How did you know that? 

JOE - I'm in the book business. 

KATHLEEN - I am in the book business.

JOE - I see, and we are the Price Club. Only instead of a ten-gallon vat of olive oil for $3.99 that won't even fit under your kitchen cabinet, we sell cheap books. Me a spy. (beat) Oh, absolutely. And I have in my possession the super-duper, secret printout of the sales figures of a bookstore so inconsequential, yet full of its own virtue that I was compelled to rush over for fear that this's going to put me out of business.

Kathleen stares at him. She's speechless. 

JOE (cont'd) - What? (off her look) What? 

Kathleen shakes her head. Frank turns up. 

FRANK - Hey. How are you doing? Frank Navasky.

JOE - Joe Fox. 

FRANK - Joe Fox? 

JOE - F-O-X.

FRANK - Inventor of the Superstore, of course. The enemy of the mid-list novel. The destroyer of City Books. Tell me something, really, how do you sleep at night? 

Patricia joins them. 

PATRICIA - Oh, I use a wonderful over-the-counter drug, Ultra-dorm. Don't take the whole thing, just half, you'll wake up without even that tiniest hangover. You're Frank Navasky, aren't you? 

FRANK - Yes. 

PATRICIA - Your last piece in the Observer, about Anthony Powell, was brilliant.

FRANK - Really?

PATRICIA - Brilliant, yes. I'm Patricia Eden, hi, Eden Books. Joe, this man is the greatest living expert on Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.

FRANK - You really like...

JOE - This is Kathleen Kelly.

PATRICIA - Hi.

Kathleen glares at him. 

FRANK - my piece, I'm sorry. I just...you know? I'm flattered. You write these things and you think someone's going to mention them and then the week goes by and the phone doesn't ring, and you start to think Oh, I'm a fraud, a failure or something.

PATRICIA - You know what always fascinated me about Julius and Ethel Rosenberg? Is how old they looked when they were really just our age. You know? 

Everyone is stopped dead by this observation and looks at Patricia, who smiles at them all. 

PATRICIA (to Frank) - Well, I'm so happy to have finally met you. We will talk. Have you ever thought about doing a book? 

FRANK - Uh, it's crossed my mind, something relevant for today like the Luddite movement in 19th century England. We should talk. Call me.

(At the same time.)

JOE - Hey, hon, have you ever had a caviar garnish...

KATHLEEN - Frank...

INT. JOE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 

As Joe and Patricia get into bed. Brinkley is already on the bed. 

PATRICIA - I had no idea that Frank Navasky was going to be so down-to-earth. 

Joe doesn't respond. Patricia turns out the light. 

PATRICIA - You know, you read his stuff, you think he's going to be so obscure and abstruse. 

A beat.

PATRICIA (cont'd) - He's always talking about Heidigger and Foucault and I have no idea what any of it's about, really. 

Joe gets up. Brinkley follows. 

PATRICIA (cont'd) - Where are you going? 

JOE - I'm not really tired. I'm not.