2016年2月14日 星期日

You've Got Mail - 04. Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino!


INT. FOXBOOKS - WORLD HEADQUARTERS - DAY 
Joe is in the office with his father, NELSON FOX, and his grandfather, SCHUYLER FOX. The office has been recently redecorated; everything is new and a little overdone. 
On the wall we see the Foxbooks logo. 

JOE - Construction's going well. We should open on time. Although Kevin and I are both a little concerned about the neighborhood response... (suddenly notices the garish couch) Hey this fabric on the couch, what is it? Does it have a name? 

NELSON - Money.

JOEHuh? 

NELSON - Its name is money. 

JOE - Oh, Gillian selected it. 

NELSON - Good guess.
SCHUYLER - Your father's getting married again. 

JOE - Really?

SCHUYLER - Yep!

JOE - Congratulations

NELSON - Thank you.

JOE - Why? 

NELSON - Who knows?

JOE - Love?

NELSON - Possible. 

SCHUYLER - I think you're a damn fool. 

NELSON - Pops, Matthew is four years old, okay? It would be nice for him if he knew his parents were married. 

JOE - Listen, I have a sad announcement to make. Uh..City Books... on 23rd Street is going under ... 

Nelson, Shuyler, and Joe high-five each other. 

NELSON - Oh, Another independent bites the dust..

SCHUYLER - On to the next. 

JOE - You know, I'll buy out their entire inventory of architecture and New York history..for the new store. 

NELSON - How much are your paying? 

JOE - Well, whatever it costs, it won't be as much as this exquisitely uncomfortalbe mohair episode there which is now all over my suit. (indicates the couch) 

NELSON - Here you go. 

JOE - Thanks. We're also going to have a section dedicated just to writers who've lived on West Side...

SCHUYLER - As a sop to the neighborhood. 

NELSON - Perfect. Keep those West Side liberal nuts, pseudo-intellectual...

JOE - Readers, Dad. They're called readers. 

NELSON - Don't do that, son, don't romanticize them. It'll keep them from jumping down your throat...

SCHUYLER - What's the competition? 

JOE - One mystery store. Sleuth, on 78th and Amsterdam. And a children's bookstore, Shop Around the Corner. Been there forever. 

SCHUYLER - Cecilia's store. 

JOE - Who's that? 

SCHUYLER - Cecilia Kelly, lovely woman. I think we might have had a date once. Or maybe we just exchange letters. 

JOE - You wrote her letters?

SCHUYLER - Oh, mail. It was called mail. 

NELSON (fondly nostalgic and kidding it slightly) - Stamps. Envelopes... 

JOE - You know, I've heard of it.

SCHUYLER - Cecilia had beautiful penmanship. She was too young for me, but she was... enchanting. 

JOE - Enchanting?...

SCHUYLER - Her daughter owns it now. 

NELSON - Ha, too bad for her. 

As a DECORATOR walks into the office carrying a pile of upholstered pillows, and Joe turns to look at them. 

JOE (V.O.) - My father is getting married again. For five years, he's been living with a woman named Gillian...who studied decorating at Caesar's Palace.

JOE - Is it porcelain?

NELSON - Rubber.


INT. SUBWAY - DAY 
Kathleen looks up from her book as a butterfly flies through the subway car. 

KATHLEEN (V.O.) - Once I read a story about a butterfly in the subway, and today...I saw one. It got on at 42nd...and got off at 59th, where I assume it was going to Bloomindale's...to buy a hat that will turn out to be a mistake. As almost all hats are. 

EXT. H & H BAGELS - NIGHT
A flour truck is unloading flour into a hole in the ground. 

JOE (V.O.) - Listen to this: Every night a truck pulls up to my neighborhood bagel place...and pumps about a ton of flour into the ground tanks? Then the air is filled....with white dust which never seems to land. Why is that? 

As Joe comes around the corner and sees the dust filling the air. It is amazing. 

KATHLEEN (V.O.) - Confession: I've read Pride & Prejudice about 200 times...I get lost in the language. 

INT. JOE'S KITCHEN - DAY 

As Joe reads a copy of Pride and Prejudice. He can't stand it. 

KATHLEEN (V.O.) - Words like.."thither".."Mischance".."Felicity"..and I'm always in agony over whether Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are really going to get together...Uh, read it. I know you'll love it.

EXT. STARBUCKS - DAY 
As Joe leaves with his morning coffee. 
She enters Starbucks. 

As Kathleen buys her morning coffee and listens to everyone ordering. We can hear the sounds of Starbucks: "Short decaf cap," "Tall mocha latte." "Grande lowfat regular." Etc

JOE (V.O.) - The whole purpose of places like Starbucks...is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever...to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee.caf, decaf...low-fat, nonfat...et cetera.

CLERKMocha frappuccino grande.

JOE (V.O.) -So people who don't know what the hell they're doing...or who on earth they are can, for only $ 2.95...get not just a cup of coffee...but an absolutely defining sense of self. Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino!

CUSTOMER (in front of KATHLEEN in Starbucks) - Tall decaf cappuccino.

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